영어 문장들이 어색한가요?

학생질문)

영어 수행평가를 해야하는데 문장들이 완전한 문장이거나 어색하면 안된다는 내용은 없지만 어색한 문장들이 있으면 안될 것 같아서 질문을 남깁니다. 밑에 있는 내용 중 어색한 부분이 있다면 고쳐주실 수 있나요? 영어를 잘 하는 편이 아니라서 챗gpt와 파파고를 사용했어요.

My dream is to open my own cafe and become a barista. I want to be someone who can make great coffee and serve it to people at my cafe. I have always been interested in food, especially beverages, which led me to develop a passion for coffee. As I started studying coffee, I realized I wanted to become a barista. Whether I work in a cafe or open my own, I want to share my coffee with many people and make it known to the world.

 

선생님답변)

 

으음.. 참 잘했어요. ^^

그런데 선생님이 다시 조금 다듬고 수정해볼게요~!

My dream is to open my own cafe and become a barista. I want to be someone who can make great coffee and serve it to people at my cafe. I have always been interested in food, especially beverages, which led me to develop a passion for coffee. As I started studying coffee, I realized I wanted to become a barista. Whether I work in a cafe or open my own, I want to share my coffee with many people and make it known to the world.

 

1. make great coffee → create great coffee

make coffee도 틀린 표현은 아니지만, create coffee 는 그냥 커피를 만드는 것이 아닌

커피를 창조하는 느낌이 들어서 바리스타의 꿈과 더 잘 어울리는거 같아요.

 

2. led me to develop a passion for coffee → sparked my passion for coffee

단순 led me to develop말고 sparked 를 넣어서 뜨거운 열정이 생긴 느낌을 줄수있는거 같아요.^^

 

3. started studying coffee → began studying coffee

start 도 좋은데 begin 이 좀 더 문어체적(글에 쓰이는 문체)이고 자연스러워 보여요.

 

4. open my own → run my own

open my own은 가게를 맨 처음 열 때는 적절해 보이는 표현이지만,

이후에도 계속 운영하는 의미까지 포함시키려면 run my own 이 좀 더 적절합니다.^^

 

(완성본)

My dream is to open my own café and become a barista. I want to create great coffee and serve it to people at my café. I have always been interested in food, especially beverages, which sparked my passion for coffee. As I began studying coffee, I realized that I wanted to become a barista. Whether I work at a café or run my own, I want to share my coffee with many people and make it known to the world.